U

This is not a normal entry.

After a 3 years being together, we took a separate way. It was my decision with your jobless and heartbroken situation. It is hard and painful. I know but I do not know exactly how it feels. Whoever came across this would say I’m the bad guy. Looking back, I cant even recall why I did ask for this to happen. I would say this is a vacation, not a total break up.

Even since then, we were on a separate path but analogically, our path is like a linear path where we are heading to a same direction. Maybe it is your direction that I am following. I happened to have some bumps on my way and I did have a cross path with another girl. Nevertheless, I would always check on my side to see how are you doing there.

You did get a fast lane there while me, I had to speed up some time to catch up with U. I did not really know how your journey was like, did U had some bumps, a cross path or maybe a cross road. I did update mine to U sometime but U did not. So I guess everything is OK there. It happens that U already took some flyover in your path to a new place in this world. Lucky U but I know U deserve it. This flyover thing makes me envy a bit but I should not right? U always tell me this.

A few days ago, someone shows me a way to get to the fast lane same like yours. He interviewed me for that. This seems to be my shot that I would not let go easily. I saw U clearly there but last night I can see everything clearly. U did have a cross path with a guy that I did not know and U said to me clearly that I should not be following her path no more, not even beside her looking how she’s doing. I thought this would be a perfect time to get in the same lane with U but I was wrong. Its not fair to U. I agreed on this. And I would never have a chance no more because I blown a numbers of chances before.

Now I know how it feels. The pain and hurt. Sadness and sorrow. Everything is mixed into one and making me cannot thinking straight. Karma really did her job. Right now I am in exactly the same position as she did when i left her; jobless.

The verdict for my fast lane application would be heard next week and I’d really hope I don’t get the chance to be there as she would exit the fast lane if I get in. I truly understand why U would want to do that. As for now, I cant have your path of life beside me no more. U ask for that and I will grant it. The lane split very far and wide since the last 4 years.

To U, I would like to say a very best of luck in the future. I am happy for U. Earn this life and make it great. I am sorry for every single mistakes that I did. And finally a song dedication; a song I once played for U on a seashore during a night while watching the beautiful moon and sparkling stars.

Best I Ever Had

So you sailed away
Into a grey sky morning
Now I’m here to stay
Love can be so boring

Nothing’s quite the same now
I just say your name now

But it’s not so bad
You’re only the best I ever had
You don’t want me back
You’re just the best I ever had

So you stole my world
Now I’m just a phony
Remembering the girl
Leaves me down and lonely

Send it in a letter
Make yourself feel better

But it’s not so bad
You’re only the best I ever had
You don’t need me back
You’re just the best I ever had

And it may take some time to
Patch me up inside
But I can’t take it so I
Run away and hide
And I may find in time that
You were always right
You’re always right

So you sailed away
Into a grey sky morning
Now I’m here to stay
Love can be so boring

What was it you wanted
Could it be I’m haunted

But it’s not so bad
You’re only the best I ever had
I don’t want you back
You’re just the best I ever had
The best I ever had
The best I ever
had

U know who you are…

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~ by chephren on July 2, 2009.

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