Seven

Dear abah,

Its been seven years since you left all of us.

grave

How are you doing now? I’d hope all of our prayers reached you safe up there. I misses you so much right here.

Umi is doing good here and she’d been promoted last year after 20 years of service. I know you would been promoted too if you are still here with us. On the other hand, all of your kids are doing good. Your 3rd son is getting a degree; following his brother’s footstep and your 4th is still in his secondary school. I have to pay more attention to him as he is lack of of enthusiasm and wit to face this life on his own.

It’s a hard knock life I am facing right now. Whenever I thinks of you I know, my life will not be this hard if you are here. Like they said, one father is more than a hundred schoolmasters. I have to face this life on my own, no one is there to guide me to the right path. Do not label me as a failure to you. It is just that I learned everything the hard way and the best is yet to come.

I spent my teenage in a boarding school thus made me far away from you. We seldom had a chat and that’s what I miss the most. I wish I know you better, know how you manage your financial, your jobs and maybe your love stories. I didn’t have the chance at all.

I have been through a lot as of now and all by my own. I wish I can share all of it with you someday. On my journey road I met all kinds of people, some that I can fond of and some that I adore and some I envy them for what they got. The world is changing rapidly these days and I need to keep up my pace to follow them or else I would fall back, just like right now.

cemetry

Abah, I wish I can make you proud one day and I will. I promise you on this. My prayers always goes to you on every single day. I am blessed to have a father just like you.

I love you and miss you so much…

The Eldest

Al-Fatihah

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~ by chephren on July 30, 2009.

4 Responses to “Seven”

  1. Al-fatihah…

  2. Its so touching… Seriously although I know you don’t have a father to seek for feedback or guidance or piece of advice… You can always seek us, your friends…

    However, I am proud of you that you are a tough person, help your mother to steer your family, be a family guy. Your father must be really proud of you because you are managing it well… by your own power… wisdom… MOST importantly with YOUR OWN STYLE!

    Don’t rush to get marry… Better wait 1 or 2 of your siblings get a stable job first.

    —————————–

    Early July, I got an offer from my supervisor to continue my study for PhD… Wow! I was about to jump up to sky! So happy…
    However, it is tough when to pursuit second & third level of degree… I also made a promise to my umi, that after this master, I am going to start to earn my own paycheck & help my parent take care some of their burdens…
    I guess… maybe after 5 years working or after get marry, I will start to pursuit my PhD…

    ———————————

    Efy!

    If you are thinking of pursuing your master, I suggest you start to learn & understand almost everything that you can get from your company. I had gone through several paper proceeding or conference, from what I get to know is, almost everyone are pursuing their study & research based on their working experience; they did well! So, why not you!?!
    Hehehe…

  3. ***Seriously although I know you don’t have a father to seek for feedback or guidance or piece of advice…

    But it is just like you always have one seek for… Sorry not mean to be rude here… Maybe you hide it from us to know it… by it, i mean your feeling, your problem….

    Remember… You can always seek us, your friends!

  4. Hang in there dear.You’ll be fine.Just have faith in Allah and yourself:)

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